a black helicopter came by today, circling low over the courtyard, gardens, and pond about 15 times. I was in the composting toilet, which has a large window overlooking the pond (the best view on the commune), and the helicopter flew right by and got a great view of me.

the helicopter was loud and low, and had no markings whatsoever. It was low enough that we could see the person inside, and after it had circled a few times, a few folks started yelling at it and flipping it off. It was mostly the older members doing that (us younger ones were just staring in disbelief), and it was powerful for me to see these often-quiet folks so passionately enraged. "This is our home! Stay the fuck away!" It was really unnerving... very much a reminder of the Big Brother potential of authority. A few people called the sherrif to ask what was going on, and they said "they're just taking pictures". Fuck off.

hours later now... what frustrates me most about this is the implied threat. Real or not, the low-flying, unmarked, repeatedly-circling black helicopter embodies the threat of the watchful eye. "We're watching you," it says "Just in case you thought you had power over your lives... this is a reminder that we're the ones in charge here."

do I sound paranoid or conspiracy-theoroid? am I? I don't think so. How would you feel if a black helicopter circled your home 15 times, flying low enough to look in your windows? I feel intruded upon. And the sherrif's reply that they're "just taking pictures"... just taking pictures? Should I be relieved about that? My overwhelming feeling is: who do you think you are? What makes you think you can come into our home uninvited and peer into our windows? Come for a Saturday Tour! Pay the $5 like everyone else!

it's a foggy foggy morning on the commune. I woke up and it looked like it had snowed outside, it was so white and still. I'm getting ready for our annual Women's Gathering, happening this weekend. It's a three day event up at our large outdoor conference site, and includes workshops led by women from across the country, on-site camping, and evenings of musical and otherwise-artistic performances by Women's Gathering participants. It's a weekend rich with drumming, dancing, collaborating, learning, laughing, singing, creating, and squishing around in an earthen mud pit (one of my favorite parts!) It's a women's only space, which I had never really experienced until last year's Gathering. It was phenomenal to share and dance and play without the influence of men around... I allow different pieces of myself to sing louder and shine brighter. I wouldn't assert that life would be better with only women around, it's just rich in a different way, a transformative experience to see and share these different ways of being, and then incorporate pieces of it into my life in general. Like a great mushroom trip -- I wouldn't want my life to be like it all the time, AND I gain rich insight into who I am and how I want to be in the world.

I'm also trying to decide if I'm going up to the RNC protests next week. I'll miss the big march on Sunday, but there's still an entire week of actions after that. I want to go for a lot of reasons: connecting with activist friends from across the country who I haven't seen in a long time, playing and having fun and injecting a hit of alternative joyous culture into the world, being a part of this fairly historic event... and yet, I'm kind of burnt out on traditional protests. Unless I can find a way to participate in them that doesn't just feel like yelling, they don't do much for me. So my friends and I are planning on bringing drums and other musical instruments (homemade!), wearing funky fun costumes, and singing and dancing and being HAPPY and enjoying our lives, presenting ourselves as an alternative to the world attempting to be created by the folks inside the convention. It's something I feel like I'm doing everyday... and this is an opportunity to do it more visibly.

I spent the morning in the garden, picking rows of tomatoes for canning for the winter. In this time of economic uncertainty for us, picking food for winter storage feels like a vitally important job... moving more towards self-sustainability. We'll have enough money to feed ourselves, no doubt. The more food we can supply for ourselves, the more money we'll have to cover other expenses, like electricity! The tomatoes I picked today will be food we won't have to buy this winter.

After the morning in the garden, I spend the afternoon doing more "heady" work of figuring out Excel spreadsheets and putting together a bulk mailing of our newsletter. In the hour before dinner, a largish group of us ended up hanging out on an outside deck, chatting about the state of the community and other random bits of life. I pulled out my substitute teacher application form (due tomorrow!), and started to fill it out.

"What should I list for 'current position?'" I asked the group.
"Dominatrix," one person suggested "to let them know that you'll know how to discipline the kids."
"Housing Administratior," said someone else, referring to my job as room assigner, in which I help people find empty rooms when they have guests.
We went through a list of many other things I could list as my "current position": newsletter editor, homeschooling teacher, assistant manager of the tofu business, public relations correspondent, gardener, public speaker, personal counselor... (that space is still blank on the application because I haven't decided which one is most appropriate).

next was the question of salary. What do I write when I'm part of a worker-owned cooperative and don't get any salary at all? I wrote "N/A (self employed)" with the expectation that I'll explain a brief bit about income-sharing in the interview tomorrow.

"What's the best way to say I've been arrested at a protest?" I queried.
"They really ask that?"
"Yup: 'Have you ever been convicted of an infraction against the law, other than a minor traffic violation?'"
"Say it was a non-violent civil disobedience. What were you protesting about?
proudly: "Campaign Finance Reform"
blank stares and some guffaws from my friends. "What?"
"Sure, Campaign Finance Reform! We'll never have justice in this country if people are elected because of money and not ideas!"
"Well, at least it wasn't anything liberal or extreme, like peace or something like that."

my friends just shook their heads and looked at me with pity. Whatever... I'm going to be the best substitute teacher EVER!

it's been a busy time at Twin Oaks since I posted last. The big news on the commune is that Pier One, our biggest hammocks customer, has decided they don't want to sell hammocks anymore. They're loosing money, so they want to build a new image, and hammocks don't fit that image.

So now our annual income is going a couple hundred thousand dollars less than usual. We've been having community meetings in abundance and talking and brainstorming about next steps. We're looking at ways to save money, short-term and long-term, and ways of making more money, short-term and long-term. I'm loving it. It's really drawing out the intentional part of this intentional community; we're being forced to ask basic questions about what we want our lives to look like. Do we want to make more money? How much are we, individually and as a group, willing to sacrifice for financial abundance... or just financial stability? What kinds of new work do we want to be doing? Do we want to find another huge corporation to sell our products? (my answer, of course, is a resounding "no!")

We're looking at ways we can be more self sustaining, and that process is invigorating to my ideals of creating a sustainable earth. We're pushing to stop buying banannas and oranges when we have an abundance of canteloupe and watermelon right from our gardens. We're talking about more people getting trained in equipment maintenance so we can fix more things ourselves instead of sending them off to mechanics (we try to do that as much as possible right now, but the handful of folks who know how to fix things get burned out after the fourth refridgerator breakdown in one week!)

Looking at new possibilities for earning money is also thrilling. For the short-term, the opportunity I'm most excited about is substitute teaching (I know, I must be sadistic). I'm excited about it because it means connecting more with the local community, being of immense service (I'm a "2" on the enneagram scale), and doing this "social change work" on a more immediate level (balancing the revolutionary idealism of culture creation on the commune with an intense hit of immediate needs and challenges). Both of my parents and my brother are teachers, so it must run in the family.

Lots of long-term possibilities have been brainstormed, from expanding our current tofu and book-indexing businesses, to entirely new endeavors... like providing elderly care and recording audio books (my favorite).

It's been exhilarating to see the people of the community engaging in this process. Many folks are really jumping in and taking on responsibilities and moving forward with integrity and determination. Our recent community meetings have been intense and rich. There's a combination of excitement and fear that could be a recipe for charged conflict and tension. Instead, there's a lot of respect, listening, and appreciation. It seems like something that people are appreciating most is the openness of the process and the accessibility of information about what's going on. We trust each other more when there's an abundance of information, and when we feel our concerns have been heard. The recent slew of community meetings have allowed for that, and it's changing the culture of the community. And I love it.

in other news, my birthday was yesterday and Dar Williams wished me a happy birthday from the stage twice when she played at FloydFest! A friend of mine ran up on stage and gave her a note, and then she said "Where's Kate?" (I raised my hand) "It's Kate's birthday today and her friends love her". Later in the evening she played again and she saw me in the audience and asked me what song I wanted to hear! Ahh... I'm starstruck.