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Tuesday, August 23
A true mark of the shifting season: the first pawpaws fell today! Three-year-old Willow and I have been watching them grow all summer, from tiny green buds under the crimson flowers, remembering afternoons last year spent nibbling fruit under the canopy of broad leaves.
I glanced out my window this morning to gauge the nature of the day's weather, and I noticed a green bulby shape on the grass beneath the tree. I skipped out the door and down the stairs and delightfully gathered five quirky fruits from the ground. I carried them into Llano kitchen (the common kitchen in the courtyard) to share the wealth. I was tickled to introduce the fruit to some guests who'd never seen them before. "It's the largest indigenous edible fruit in America! Try it, it tastes like a cross between a mango and an avocado." Some loved it, others balked at the unusual flavor. Willow was breakfasting in the kitchen, and he grabbed one from my hand, remembering to ask, "do I eat the green part?". The answer is no, that's the skin. I broke it open for him and told him to eat from the center, and give me the seeds.
And now I have twelve brown seeds in my pocket, collected from the whole lot eaten at breakfast. When all the fruit has fallen from the tree, I'll turn my collection into necklaces and bracelets to wear in the winter, to remember the abundance of the land and the taste of pawpaws on an August morning.
posted by tickledspirit, August 23, 2005 17:43 | link | comments (4)
Saturday, August 13
I just finished reading an article that's being passed around the commune. It's about how the Amish decide which technology is appropriate to adopt, and more importantly, how to use different kinds of technology in order to maintain the social connections and other spiritual intentions their community is based on. In the end, the author asks the question: "If we decided that community came first, how would we use our tools differently?"
I love living at Twin Oaks because we have the opportunity to collectively ask these kinds of questions, like when the opportunity to have internet connections in individual rooms came up last year (we decided it would be a decision for each dorm-like residence group to make for themselves). In reading this article, I'm envious of the Amish because I often wish we were less focused on individual freedom and more focused on community.
read the article here.
and while I'm at it providing links, I'll take the opportunity to announce that my dear brother now has a blog, on Motime no less. He's brilliant, I think. (the hyperlink doesn't seem to be working: wander.motime.com)
posted by tickledspirit, August 13, 2005 12:15 | link | comments (3)
Tuesday, August 09
I thank today's power outage for directing me to a new favorite reading spot: leaning against a cushion directly under the low window in my room. When the power conked this afternoon, I discovered that I had no immediate tasks available to me; all of my necessary work right now involves computers. So I went to my room, prepped my oil lamps for the possibility of a powerless evening, and then read by the light of my window until dinnertime. Framed by a viney plant and a shiney mobile, my windowspace felt nurturing and magical.
(PS: the book I'm reading right now is one of the best I've ever read. The Bone People by Kerri Hulme. It was a hard start because her writing style is so funky and akward, and then it suddenly becomes inescapably compelling.)
The rain cooled the commune today, both in temperature and in energy. Whew. There's still a lot going on, and it all doesn't feel quite so spasitic. Or maybe I'm just exhausted.
posted by tickledspirit, August 09, 2005 22:42 | link | comments
Monday, August 08
I'm currently covered with tofu and okara after a 4 hour shift in the hut this morning. Emotionally, I feel covered in some other kind of muck. Pax and I are wading through some shit together around betrayal (on both sides), and it's not fun. I'm getting tangled in self-judgement and feelings of guilt, which don't serve me except to "protect" me from judgement of others (because I'm already judging myself so harshly, no one else's judgement can hurt nearly as much as my own). I'm staying on top of it all right... and it's hard.
There's also a lot of big energy moving around Twin Oaks -- lots of change and trauma and drama, to an extent that I haven't felt here before. I don't know how much of it is actually different and how much of it is my shifting perspective as a planner and otherwise. People seem more stressed out and events seem more wildly out of control. One of our ex-members (who lived here over 10 years ago) was just arrested for armed bank robbery, and it's speculated that he "borrowed" a Twin Oaks car to do it, as well as stole a van and over $1000 from us in the last few months. Another member recently left unexpectedly and committed himself to a mental hospital. These are just the two big ones -- lots of other smaller things seem like they're getting to be big and agitated. I'm feeling like there's a volcano getting ready to erupt around here (maybe it's just my own personal volcano...).
That's what's going on for me. Yikes. Yesterday I would have written an entirely different post, but this morning this is what's most present for me. I'm just settling in after being in travelling mode for the last month (the Rainbow Gathering, then Network for New Culture, then FloydFest), and I'll be here until the end of August, when I leave for Burning Man. I've never been, and I'm very excited. This is turning out to be a summer of major energetic change for me (not so much physical change of situation or location, more in how I experience life and this wild journey as a human).
posted by tickledspirit, August 08, 2005 12:27 | link | comments (4)
Wednesday, August 03
I just filled out this brief survey about activism for someone's senior thesis, and I figured I'd post my response here. Enjoy!
Hi there.
I got this survey through the "anarchist academics" listserve I'm on. I actually wrote my undergrad thesis (sociology) on activism, too! It was mostly focused on student activism and determining motivation. I loved working on it -- I wish you a grand journey in your exploration!
> 1. How do you identify yourself as an activist? i.e. What "kind" of
> activist are you?
I'm a "lifestyle activist." I put my energy towards exploring possibilities and bringing them into reality in the world, in my life. I live in an intentional community (commune) of 100 people where we grow our own food and sustain our lives through our collective work. We're constantly having to explore the challenge of how to work together and make decisions together without hierarchical power structures. We're effectively a "laboratory" for creating effective tools for communication and sharing.
A large part of my activism is sharing this possibility with other people. I travel to colleges and conferences to facilitate workshops and classes about life in community, and I write a periodic blog about my experience here. When I talk about the reality of our lives here, I help open people to the idea that a very different world is possible. And it's not just that communal living is the way to go -- if this is possible, this way of living that is so far beyond what most people think of as real, if THIS is possible, then so much else is possible too.
> 2. Do you think the world can change for the better? Please explain your
> answer in 100 words or less.
People make choices based on what they think they know and what they fear. When people are aware of more possibility and give less power to their fears, they'll make choices that will change the world "for the better", because they'll be actively engaged in intentionally creating the world they want. This is a neverending process of change -- we aren't going to reach a perfect utopia where we have it all figured out and don't need to change anything else, because that would become stagnant, passive, and unintentional (leading to the need for more change!).
> 3. What three books (title & author) have most influenced your worldview
> as an activist?
Living My Life, the autobiography of Emma Goldman
Days of War, Nights of Love (CrimeThInc)
Hope for the Flowers (Trina Paulus)
enjoy your work!
tickledspirit
posted by tickledspirit, August 03, 2005 10:00 | link | comments (3)
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